Why I Never Shut Up About Menopause

It started with symptoms that many women experience but tell themselves is normal.

 

I was dealing with very heavy periods, often having to change super plus tampons every hour. There were times I was working with a patient and could feel that I had soaked through my tampon and had blood dripping down my leg. Sometimes the stretches of heavy bleeding would last for WEEKS. I also had debilitating cramping, sometimes even when I didn’t have my period. I had a constant feeling of “pressure” in my pelvis.

 

What’s worse is that I didn’t just get dismissed by doctors—I dismissed myself first. I gaslit myself, telling myself things like:

“This is just normal.”

“Every woman deals with this.”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

 

I normalized my suffering, because that’s what we are taught to do as women. Periods, cramps, pregnancy, childbirth – we have accepted suffering as part of our existence.

 

Finally, things escalated to the point where I asked for testing.

 

It turns out, I had adenomyosis—a condition where endometrial tissue grows into the muscle wall of the uterus. I’d been living with it for years without a diagnosis, because again, my symptoms were treated as if they were just part of being a woman.

No one asked deeper questions. And I didn’t push—because I’d been taught not to.

 

So, I made the decision to have a hysterectomy.

 

I was assured by my doctors that since my ovaries were left intact, there would be no changes to my hormones at all. I was 42 at the time and was told that I would go through menopause at the “normal” time.

 

Initially, I felt GREAT. I recovered easily from the surgery, and the relief I had from the pain and relentless bleeding was immense. It was so nice not to have to plan my life around bloating, cramping, and bleeding - that by the end could sometimes last over 30 days.

 

But soon after I started experiencing symptoms I didn’t even realize were related to menopause at first.

 

Brain fog, difficulty concentrating, word finding problems, memory lapses – I was convinced I had early onset dementia! Then came the mysterious rashes, allergies to products I’ve used for years, difficulty sleeping, and weight gain despite no changes to my diet and exercise routines.

 

When I finally started questioning whether my brain fog, insomnia, and allergies were something more than “just life,” I was met with more dismissal:

“You’re too young for menopause.”

“Bloodwork won’t tell us anything.”

“It’s probably just stress or anxiety.”

I’d finally stopped gaslighting myself… only to have a doctor do it for me.

 

So, I demanded bloodwork, which confirmed I was postmenopausal. My estrogen was less than 15. No wonder I felt so weird!! But this was the message in my patient portal - “Your bloodwork confirms you’re postmenopausal. This explains all your symptoms”. That’s it. No explanation. No education on menopause and the profound impact this could have on my health since I went through the transition about a decade early. No warning about osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease, or cognitive decline. No discussion on menopause hormone therapy and how that could be extremely beneficial to me. Nothing.

 

So, I started to read anything I could get my hands on about menopause. I followed the experts on social media, like Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Dr. Kelly Casperson, and Dr. Heather Hirsh. I did all my own research on menopause hormone therapy and found a provider who would prescribe it. I started implementing lifestyle changes to feel more like myself again. And it worked. I felt better than ever.

 

That was the turning point.

 

The truth is: our healthcare system is failing women in midlife.

 

Despite the fact that 100% of women who live long enough will go through the menopause transition, most medical professionals receive little to no training in menopause care. It’s not even a core requirement in many medical schools. Only 20% of OB/GYNs receive any training at all, and if they do, it’s often only a few hours - and most learned outdated information from a decades old study that has since been disproved and debunked.

 

That’s why so many women get misdiagnosed, brushed off, or told to “wait it out.” Their hot flashes, joint pain, sleep problems, and mental health struggles are seen as separate issues—or worse, just complaints.

 

It lit a fire in me. I decided to get certified in women’s health and menopause coaching. Because I wanted to use all I had learned to educate other women and to help them thrive through this transition.

 

So now, I never shut up about menopause.

 

I talk about it because no one talked to me about it.

I talk about it because I want other women to recognize themselves in my story.

I talk about it because I’m a healthcare professional who missed her own diagnosis—and if I missed it, I know others are too.

I talk about it because women deserve evidence-based information, compassionate support, and the kind of validation that the medical system often fails to provide.

 

If you’ve been struggling in silence, feeling dismissed, or wondering if what you’re experiencing is “just how it is”—please know:

✨ It’s not just you.

✨ It’s not all in your head.

✨ And it doesn’t have to be this way.

 

Let’s rewrite the menopause story—together. You do NOT need to just suffer through menopause.

You deserve to feel informed, empowered, and heard. You deserve to thrive in midlife and beyond.